Spirituality

The Beautiful Smallness of Largeness

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We only become more of who we are by opening to the world and opening it up to others.

I’ve worked to find a way to formulate this, and Roberto Unger’s book “The Religion of The Future” (a heavy read but worth it if you’re into religion and psychology) helps. Unger’s idea of a deliberately-constructed religion is one that confronts the impermanence and unsurety of the world to construct a society that would let us grow and develop, being more godlike by being more human. As I put it with affectionate snark, he starts with Buddhist realizations, imagines a functional society with Confucian precision, leading to a world where we hope to evolve ourselves and each other in freedom towards salvation reminiscent of some radical Christian sects.

Unger, even if I question some of his work and opinions, is a deep believer in humanity, and a future and world for all. He wants us to see the spirit, the divine spark, in ourselves and others and to evolve it. If anything, I’d argue his work doesn’t go deep enough into exploring how a view of “let all evolve” is a *spiritual necessity for development* – something I’ve long considered. And now he gives me a launch point I needed.

For those of us familiar with Buddhism and some later syncretic Taoism, the idea of “liberating all” is a vital part of doctrine. One does not just aspire to be liberated from suffering or Attain the Tao, or whatever and walk away. One wishes it for all people, all beings, and in that way, we step out of the shell of our limited ideas of self.

For that, we must walk into the world, and deal with people. We must wish the best for them, not in condescension or false feeling, but on our journey. We have to confront difficult and even dangerous people. This takes us outside of ourselves, our comfort zones. We feel empathy, we put down our barriers, by imagining a world where everyone is “more human and thus more divine.”

Each time we do this, something in us cracks. Boundaries go down. Understanding of people goes up – and thus understanding of ourselves. We remember that we are not separate from the world, we are part of it in a kind of dialogue. We are reminded of how we can evolve and grow – and we do.

Yet, strangely, we also get smaller. We’re less inclined to coddle our biases and bigotries. We’ve got less defined borders. So much of “us” is defined as “not being them” or “not being that” and those are burdens. By letting go so much of us, we become less of what we think we are and more of what we are and who we can be.

You only get to the top by going towards the bottom. So many religious and spiritual practices reminds us to help others, to be engaged in real life, to be there, among the dirt and sadness and reality. That cracks our shells and breaks us so the real us can emerge.

It’s difficult of course. Society is challenging. People can be assholes. But how we relate to people and what kind of world we build is part of our spiritual journey. We just have to figure how to deal with the pathological societies and individuals we face – and how such journeys can help us and others grow. No one said it would be easy, there are no guarantees.

I’d rather become small to become large than walk around in random shackles history gave me.

–Xenofact

Head Full of Ghosts

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If you’ve done any form of meditation or therapy you know about those complexes in your mind. The fears, the obsessions, the habits that take over so much of our life, probably more than we want to admit.

It’s like having a head full of ghosts.

These aren’t the cool ghosts either. There’s no dramatic revelations of the past or lineage. They aren’t some vital spirits directing us to a better life after three disparate visions. None of these ghosts is delivering useful advice. Not a single one resembles Patrick Swayze.

Honestly, these ghosts in our head, these habits and neuroses, are boring and pathetic.

They’re mechanical and repetitive. They run on tracks burrowed into our mind, clockwork-clicking along whatever path set out by our past experiences. They are powerful, they are annoying, but they’re also not that interesting or unique. The reruns of the soul.

They’re often quite pathetic. A bad experience here, a grudge there, something we didn’t acknowledge in the past. Even the horrible ones are sad, the results of our bad choices or the cruelty of others. There’s something invalid about them, and we fear, about ourselves.

They’re damaging. They hurt us, obsess us, misdirect us, but not in any cool way. They’re often stupidly self-destructive – of ourselves and even themselves. They negate themselves yet always resurrect.

But worse of all these Ghosts, these complexes and obsessions of the past are so empty.

There’s nothing to them. No acknowledgement of reality, even when reality triggers them. They don’t grow. They aren’t relevant even if perhaps they once had reason to exist. When we acknowledge them, their shallowness is stunning. Here we are, people, and we have to share our head with these phantoms.

It’s humiliating. These mechanical, harmful, phantasms drive so much of our life and don’t deserve to. I once read someone discussing the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, and decided to translate what is usually interpreted as craving as humiliation, and I get that.

I find looking at this emptiness, this voidness of our complexes helps me deal with them. When you see their shallowness and pointlessness, you can overcome them. Not necessarily by great exertion or cultivation (though it may help) but by just seeing through them and deciding to move on.

They seem to shrink when you do that. Probably because your attention and ignorance was the only thing keeping them going.

–Xenofact

Actually, I Get Ancestor Worship

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In my readings on religion and spirituality, in my own spiritual journeys, I keep coming across practices of Ancestor Worship. As time goes on, I honestly see the value of it in general. I’m not even talking any possible supernatural benefits.

What kicked this off was some post I read online about a person respecting a well in a place they grew up in. Someone had ensured the community with that well and led them to discuss the purpose and value of Ancestor Worship.. So I figured I’d collect and share my thoughts so far on Ancestor Worship for discussion and of course to try to put them into words.

First, Ancestor Worship provides awareness of history. Understanding where you came from and why is important, and like any kind of history it makes you stop and think. It also means you stop and think about what you’re doing for the future. Are you going to be the Ancestor remembered or the one forgotten?

Secondly, Ancestor Worship has the benefit of essentially ritualizing history. One connects with their past, understands where they came from and so on – all bound in the power of ritual. This has a way of energizing our connections and bringing and sustaining their meaning.


Third, Ancestor Worship encourage what I’ve called an “ecosystem” approach to life, which I’ve written of a number of times. To look to the past and the future, to be aware of history and connection, to bring it to life in ritual is to understand the connectedness of the world. Like other practice I’ve discussed (contemplation of correspondences, worship of gods, etc.) it keeps life organic.

Fourth, Ancestor Worship encourages (hopefully) respect for what one has. To understand why you have where you live, the people who worked on your community, etc. is powerful. It’s a reminder of how we got where we are. Your possession isn’t yours, it’s history – and eventually someone else’s.

Now having enumerated my thoughts on the benefits, a few thoughts in turn on healthy ways to engage in said Ancestor worship.

  1. “Ancestors” aren’t blood relatives. Ancestors are people who helped us be who we are now and who we respect. Your grandparents may have been awful so forget them – but maybe you honor the founder of your profession.
  2. “Ancestors” aren’t perfect, and I view “Ancestor Worship” as a way to build on their good and make up for the bad. If they’re flawed people worthy of respect, then part of Ancestor Worship is doing good with what they left us – while not carrying on their flaws.
  3. Ancestors can be respected a number of ways, but it should be ritualized. It may be as simple as giving thank, or donations, or celebrating their birthday. Make it organized and also meaningful.
  4. Ancestor Worship doesn’t have to involve any supernatural elements. That’s optional.

Granted these are not thoughts for an organized practice or anything. I myself don’t do much more at the time than occasionally express respect for certain people responsible for the books I read, or acknowledge the lineage of where I work. But maybe organizing them will give me direction – and of course provide my readers and friends with something to read and discuss.

–Xenofact