Meditating Calmly, Feeling Like Crap

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Recently, I felt a bit poorly. It was mostly a sudden outburst of pollen, a bit of stress, and possibly something I ate. So when I went to my daily meditations, I wasn’t quite sure it was a good idea.

I mean I felt kind of crappy, and I wondered could I focus? Would it be worth it? When it comes to my energy meditations, I even wondered if it might make it worse.

However, a few things came to mind:

First, I recall a story of a woman who, dealing with a critical illness, kept meditating. Just made me think “hey, I can do this.”

Secondly, I wanted to keep my discipline up. Even powering through this would make my discipline better. So why not use it like practiced.

Third, and finally, I wondered if it might actually help me feel better. Medicalizing the benefits of meditation has risks, but still.

So, feeling slightly nauseous, I did my energy work and my breath meditation. Know what, it was worth it. It wasn’t just the discipline, but I was glad for that. It wasn’t me remembering that I can power through. It wasn’t even if it could help me feel better – though it did a bit (though in one case I had to moderate my practice).

It was experiencing meditation in a different state of mind and body. Admittedly one that was questioning some choices but it was different than my normal state of meditation. Somehow that made it especially fulfilling. I was aware, I was engaged, it was different, it required different pacing, it shook things up.

And, pleasingly, except some exceptions, I did “as good” as I had before all this hit.

Now it had all those benefits I had mentioned, but meditating when not feeling great also helped me realize how much of meditation is being there because the there as different. I feel I have a better grasp on meditation now that I had this experience.

I admit I’d like the allergens, gone, thanks, but at least powering through provided me some valuable lessons.

(Note the next day the symptoms were way worse, so I just slept through the pain and it helped. But I’m processing some lessons from that as well I may share.)

–Xenofact

The Defeated King

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Once there was a king who was proud and arrogant. He was given the crown but thought he earned it.

“Nobody can defeat me!” he said.

He chose minions who were craven and crawling. They always praised him so they could gain.

“Yes, Nobody can defeat you,” they said in a chorus.

The King stole and started wars. His thugs were turned loose to terrorize people. He destroyed ancestral monuments and antagonized allies.

“Nobody can stop me!” he said.

Most of the People hated the King, and the few who loved him were fools or liars. The People rose up against the King to put a stop to his. So many hated him that few wanted to serve him, even as he offered lavish gifts of stolen money.

“What is going on?” The King asked. “People are rising against me! Arrest Somebody!”

His minions found Somebody to arrest. The King was satisfied. Surely now that Somebody was gone the People would learn their lesson – Nobody could defeat him.

But the People pushed back even harder. His thugs were cornered and outmaneuvered, and many took to drink to drown their sorrows. Across the Kingdom the King’s name was spat like a curse.

“They did not learn their lesson!” The King screamed. “They dare to rise up against me! Kill Somebody!”

The King’s minions looked around. Some were scared. The King was clearly mad. The People were angry. Moreso the minions all hated each other nearly as much as they hated The People.

“Kill Somebody!” The King thundered, spraying spittle.

The King’s minions made sure to kill Somebody. Then,the King settled down, but he was still worried.

“Nobody can defeat me,” the King would whisper to himself.

The next day the King awoke to People escorting him and his family out of the castle. He cried for help, but none helped him, from the cooks in the kitchen to the guards he relied on. His minions were gone, doubtlessly scattered, captured, or turning on each other.

He didn’t recognize any of the People throwing he and his family out of the Castle. Not a one of them.

“How dare you!” The King screamed at them. “You’re Nobody!”

Then for the first and last time in his life, he understood something.

–Xenofact