Xenofact

The Blind Hunger of Nothing

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As I write this in 2025, I’ve become fascinated by the amount of people in our culture that are Performative (capitalization intended). They want attention, internet clicks, regard, and engagement, so therefore do whatever gets them that. The Influencers, many a politician, no small amount of media personalities, and way too many social media addicts are Performative; some seem to be only Performative.

OK actually all of those kinds of people are Influencers. Anyway, let’s go on

A peculiar thing I keep noticing among these people for whom Performance is a lifestyle, is the only thing in their life, is an anger that burns inside them. It seethes beneath the surface, it bursts out in conflict far beyond something for attention. It’s seen in the glowering, contemptuous eyes and the edge in the voice that disregards most everyone if not everyone.

I’ve wondered as to the nature of this anger, as there are times it seems outright inhuman. The Performative people are all image, all anger, and in some cases seem barely human. There’s an emptiness there.

So, let’s talk desire.

Desire is the cause of suffering, a we are all too aware from our studies of psychology, Buddhism, Taoism, or just being alive and unhappy. Dealing with desire is a major part of mystical and not-so mystical practices.

Desire cannot truly be sated, it always comes back. It can be satisfied temporarily, perhaps enough for regret or enough to move on. One may recognize the temporary nature of the satisfaction and employ that awareness for wise choices. However many desires have at least the illusion of satisfaction, and in turn there’s some chance of definition.

We want to get laid. We want a drink. We want to get that promotion. Desire has at least some definition, even if we’re deceiving ourselves.

But for those who are Performative, I think satisfaction is elusive. You may engage in Performative behavior to make money or sell something, but the Performative nature can overtake your life. Some people just want the attention – or end up that way – and their entire lies are just about putting on the act to get the clicks, the praise, what have you.

The desire for attention is inherently unsatisfying. It’s temporary, it has to always been maintained, and it’s easily challenged. It also doesn’t relate to anything. You may become Performative to achieve some other goal, but your goal is to be someone else for people you don’t know to get ephemeral attention in order to get advertising dollars or something. You end up abstract from your goals – to achieve solid goals you must be epehmeral.

And that’s if there’s even much of a goal beyond a desire for attention.

I think the Very Performative people are so angry because there is nothing that can satisfy them even temporarily. The become only an act, without even the solidity of the illusion that they can feel satisfaction. They exist as pure performance, always on, always for the ephemera of attention, always empty.

Imagine walking around knowing you are nothing inside. Whatever was there rotted away as you worked on The Performance. You can’t even feel right. Even your anger is just a bitter resentment of everything because you’re nothing.

This insight is helping me understand the Very Performative, that look in their eyes, their instability, their sudden outbursts. They’re a giant yawning gap of desire with no chance of satisfaction because they’re empty of even something to desire. Their a ghost haunting the empty house of their own lives.

–Xenofact

Large and Small, Done and Undone

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Chapter 63 of and 64 of the Tao Te Ching contain thoughts on size, doing, and handling issues in life.  I’ve been thinking these over in my readings and want to share my insights.  I will not be reprinting the chapters but you can find them elsewhere.

Chapter 63 emphasizes acting without acting, seeing the small as the large, and how regarding things as difficult early ensures success.

Chapter 64 further continues on how taking action early can head off troubles or bring things to completion.  It also warns that acting and holding onto can ruin things, something the sage has no trouble with.

I was thinking these over as I’m big on taking care of things early, of thinking about the small picture, and on proper precision.  In fact with those things you can often not need to act as you see what you need and what you don’t.  Leaping immediately to the big picture or waiting too long can distort your view and let problems get out of hand.

(Remember, I’m a Project Manager)

So let me formulate a way to think about this.  This is for myself as much as you, my reader, so I hope you may have insights to share.

A wise person, a sage, recognizes that small things grow into large things, both good and bad.  By recognizing the seeds of good and bad it’s little effort to cultivate one and cut off the others.  In fact it may be no effort at all – literally sometimes you just stop doing something before it gets worse.

Avoiding one thing means solving problems before acting.  A small action on another can have great benefits.

By taking this ability for things to grow and change from their seeds, a wise person is able to ensure great things and avoid great troubles with little action.  I’m sure you can think of small choices that had huge effects (in fact this post is an example of one).

A sage person, also knows that the start of things does not always mean the end works out.  By accepting difficulty, by not assuming, they keep a wary eye out.  A few choices or simple actions can steer something away from disaster or avoid spoiling it.  In fact, the sage person may allow something to complete by not messing with it, thus grasping at the end and ensuring failure.

This also means a sage person doesn’t try big enormous things, no grand crusades or big shows.  Something that is already large is hard to handle and to seize it is to risk disaster, for that large project or large effort will doubtlessly bring many unexpected effects.  Things are best tackled when small, or I’d add tackled in small parts, with large efforts cultivated at best or viewed cautiously at worst.

If a big thing is made of many small, well-done choices, how much more solid will it be?

Thinking on this has helped me understand these passages and Taoist “doing by not doing.”  So many small, everyday, tiny things can, to a sage person, change the world – if that’s even needed.  So much grows from one small effort, and so much bad can be avoided by not doing something or stopping a problem before it is one.

–Xenofact

Community Or Conspiracy

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Conspiracy Theorists fascinate me, as regular readers know and as any new reader is about to unfortunately find out. One thing that really intrigues me is how Conspiracy Theorists somehow turn out to be power-hungry, bigoted, and all too ready to serve existing power structures. No matter what “Conspiracy” they’re fighting to save the world, the end result is just creating an oppressive system, or serving a new one, and going after whatever minorities are convenient to hate.

If you’ve ever followed any serious Conspiracy Theorists, they often seem to veer into a kind of monarchism and outright racism. “We need a leader for the Ultimate Awakening, we’re genetically descended from the Super Aliens. Also buy my supplements/book.”

Now this is not to say, as often noted, I do believe in conspiracies. It’s just that people don’t want to deal with real conspiracies, because ultimately they may not be aware of them, want to be aware, and benefit from them. It’s easy to ignore mass financial fraud when, say, you work in finance or are in an overhyped industry driven by stock price . . .

I’ve wondered how we deal with and prevent Conspiracy Theorists from arising and inflicting their damage to sell books and boner pills. Something that keeps coming back to me is one word – community.

Having connections to people, having roles, having relations gives one a sense of the world. You have to understand and work with people. You have to be something and someone. You’re maintaining the community and understand a bit of how the world works as you have to.

I’m not talking just one community, I’m talking networks. Clans of interrelated and interacting people. Being in a professional association and working in your city library. Real community isn’t just one community, but it’s having community including a community of communities.

It’s community all the way down – and up.

This also means that Conspiracy Theorists have a harder time causing destruction. When people are connected to others they’re less likely to turn on them. They care about people. They know they’re not evil, even if they’re a-holes. They also have people giving them feedback that they might be under the spell of a Conspiracy Theorist.

When I think of my own past, I was not always the most social person. Working with zine groups, fan groups, RPG games, etc. gave me a surprising amount of social connection. I’m used to a matrix of connections, so much so I’ve missed that I have it. I’m used to it – and it’s also helped me keep a perspective on How Stuff Works and a sense of connection.

(And perhaps, explains more on why I’m a Project Manager).

Conspiracy Theorists are driven by The Theory and whatever opportunities it provides. They may have a community or communities, but that’s not the point of the communities to them. The goal is to fight The Thing or sell things about The Thing, or whatever. Real community would mean you fight for real things for real people because they are right there in part of your life.

I think this is one reason that Conspiracy Theorists so often attack communities – especially minorities and outgroups. They’re not just easy targets, but such people are often networked and have community because they have to. The Conspiracy Theorists may instinctively know Community is the enemy – and they view everything Not Them as Conspiracy anyway.

Hell, maybe the Conspiracy Theorists are jealous. Seeing people happy? Seeing people fulfilled? Without a giant complex flowchart explaining why you’re right? Imagine the seething jealousy they feel at people who can be happy without selling seminars on alien conspiracies?

This is where I can say we need more community – that works for us. The Conspiracy Theorists are a continuing danger to humanity, every technical innovation is one they may turn to their twisted fantasies and psychological needs. The Conspiracy Theorists can’t fight that because they don’t really get how community works.

No wonder they’re afraid of it. How do you turn people to your cultish behavior when they don’t need you and they have something real and someone will warn you?

It also means we need to remember our roles in our community – that protects others from being co-opted.

–Xenofact