psychology

I Am A Whirling Thing

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My meditative practices mostly come from Taoist, Buddhist, and psychological works. My goal is to sit there with myself, watching in that focused-yet-relaxed state that is hard to describe. Note of course, I do not say I want to reach a checklist of mental states – doing comes first, and I could probably write a lot more on that.

My practice is also simple – sitting cross-legged, back straight, breathing in a slow constant cycle, mind resting on breath. This is advocated in my oft-mentioned The Secret of the Golden Flower, and like that lovely manual it’s simple, yet you could also discuss it at endless length. We humans love words, and we love to use them to describe the hard-to-describe.

You’ll notice despite my love of words, I’m often cagey about discussing these things. However, there is one insight I feel fine holding forth on as it is interesting and won’t put you, my reader, at risk, of trying to force yourself to experience meditative states.

Slow, regular, even breathing is a fascinating thing to watch because it’s a cycle. As I’ve practiced in my return to meditation, I’ve realized that everything is a cycle. Breath meditation isn’t that special, really, which is why it’s so important.

We live in an environment of cycles. The seasons go in their circles, water evaporates then precipitates, animal populations rise and fall. We depend on these great circles to live – and as we have seen, ignore or alter them at our peril.

Our societies and histories are cycles. There are times of taxes and of building, of growth and contraction. Civilizations come and go – often in depressing predictability in hindsight. Humanity’s “journey forward” even seems to be a spiral of repetition, though our ignorance of our environment suggests we’re heading for a nasty swing.

Human relations are cycles. We are born and grow, roles changing and expanding. Students become mentors to other students. Children become citizens. Someone at the height of their achievements will retire (well, if they’re smart).

We ourselves are cycles. Our daily waking and sleeping, eating and digestion, birth and death. Even when we end, other cycles begin – decomposition, and some would believe reincarnation.

I can see the cycles of my life and my behaviors when I pause. There are great circles and spirals of growth. There are predictable life patterns you can see in others. There’s even simple things like foods I like then leave then like again.

Then there’s meditation.

I am a cycle of cycles and part of cycles. I am a whirling thing.

– Xenofact

And A Child Shall Bleed Them

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I keep up on modern cults, conspiracies, and conspirituality. It’s fascinating to me, it’s a way to understand people, and it lets me know who would probably try to kill me and the people I know. It’s a depressing win-win.

Recently, following up on a specific modern cult (that I shall mention later) that had lost it’s leader, I was surprised to find it had two competing child leaders. I assumed that it was a case of people finding two manipulable figureheads to let them seize control of the cult. As I listened to the analysis, I found I was wrong or mostly wrong.

The cult members weree thrilled to have these young people spewing their doctrine back at them. They encouraged them, gave them nicknames, hung on their every word. They were elevating two poor kids that had walked into this mess into leaders, and the open desire of the cultists was painfully obvious. Whoever might be behind the scenes, the cultists were becoming sycophants pretty damn well on their own.

That’s when I realized these people were no different than the various sycophants, we see around techbros, hack authors, politicians, and “mainstream” “religious” leaders.

Some people want a leader so intensely they’ll construct one out of whatever and whoever happens to be around. Someone says what they want to hear, suddenly they’re all ears, boosting their new savior, and donating online. Throw in the social experience of believing with all the other needy people and you have a powerful trap of peer pressure and sunk cost.

Of course the would-be leaders usually play into this – mostly out of greed and delusion I’m sure, but probably too many out of sheer ignorance. A few posts and videos in the right spot and suddenly you’re a Thought Leader, a Spiritual Master, or Leader of a New Revolution. It has to be tempting even for decent people.

As for non-decent people, it has to be not only tempting but easy as hell. Say a few things and people will attribute near (or actual) godhood too you. Get some financial backing from rich lobbyists or delusional wealthy folks, and you can amplify your message more. Once the belief machine gets going, you just have to keep churning out platitudes – and of course directing people at new enemies.

Any child, literally or emotionally, could do it and judging by the state of the world many have.

So now third-generation billionaires with no idea how people’s lives work, drugged out techbros, and internet influencers with no other skills but video editing become leaders of thousands and millions. Sure they may have help, but plenty of people will help them become cult leaders because they want it so bad.

Child or manchild, there’s not much difference when people want to surrender to a leader so bad. It also helps us ask when we might surrender our free will easier than we’d think.

– Xenofact

I avoided mentioning the podcast, but it was a look at a gematria cult done by the lead podcaster of PokerPolitics/Adventures in HellWqrld. https://www.patreon.com/posts/hellwqrld-48-88061916

Meditation Is Rebellion

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Like many people I meditate. My specific technique is based on Thomas Cleary’s translation of The Secret of The Golden Flower. I breathe slow and regular, mind on breath, tuning it all the time, returning my mind to the breath when distracted. There is more to be said – I mean this is from an entire book said to be written by Lu Dong-Bin himself – but that’s the basics.

I often think about meditations (and yes, I realize the irony). Recently, I realized this simple process sometime feels like rebellion.

I’m sitting there just breathing and watching myself breathe. I’m not busy trying to be my idea of myself. I’m not trying to be what other people expected me to be. I’m there, but I’m not being any one of the me’s I could be. Just breathing.

I’m not doing anything but breathing and watching. I’m not doing anything or taking any action or making anything. I’m not a job or a position or part of the economy or whatever. Just breathing.

I’m not “doing it perfectly.” I’m just doing what I do, mind on breath and breath on mind. There’s no “perfection” or someone else telling me what to do. In fact, The Secret of the Golden Flower doesn’t even talk perfection (it’s a very pleasant read, honestly).

I’m not even doing some deep metaphysical analysis or exercise – that’d be a distraction from my mind on my breath and my breath on my mind. There I am, engaged in what some would think of as a mystical act, I’m not particularly mystical or acting. Yes, things may happen, but it’s not the goal.

There’s something incredibly rebellious about just being there but not trying to be or do anything. The pure realness of the experience is unclassifiable.

So, that’s a small bit of sharing from me to you – I assume if you read my writings you mediate or consider it. Maybe it’ll give you a way to look at your meditation with a fresher, different, view.

And you can also ask what you and I are rebelling against.

– Xenofact